Entropy
by Moonlit Showers aka InuKag Fan
Summary: This is a collection of oneshots featuring the Inuyasha cast. All for humor. Just give it a try! Please ignore the 1st ch if you don't like it, it's the odd one out InuKag SanMir UP! Ch6 Turnabout
1. Inuyasha's Confession

Inuyasha's Confession

By

Moonlit Showers

In a small, quiet clearing stood two women, seemingly identical at first glance. Upon closer inspection, however, one contained a fiery spirit and the other harbored cold determination. They also sported contrasting clothing. The first was in a traditional priestess robe and the other was in a modern school uniform.

Kagome glanced nervously at Kikyo, who appeared to be staring straight ahead, ignoring the girl from the future. She sighed. Inuyasha had told her to meet him here and she finds Kikyo? What did that mean? What could he possibly tell them-

Kagome's thoughts were cut off as Inuyasha appeared in the clearing, wearing a guarded expression.

"Inuyasha-" Kagome started, but Inuyasha's voice cut her off.

"You're probably wondering why I asked you to come, aren't you?" He questioned softly, being very uncharacteristic of his usual behavior.

The two girls stayed silent, watching and waiting.

Inuyasha took a deep breath, seeming to have the weight of the world on his shoulders, and started to explain, "Well, as you know, Naraku is defeated and the Jewel is once more whole. But before any wishes are made, I think I ought to tell you both something.

Kikyo started at him passively as Kagome's eyes widened in a panic.

_Oh no. He's finally chosen, hasn't he? He's going to choose Kikyo. What am I going to do?_

Inuyasha closed his eyes in a grimace and heaved another sigh, cutting off Kagome's thoughts once again. He opened them again and blurted his secret out.

"I'm really a girl."

No sound was heard in the clearing after that statement, and Inuyasha was soon under two pairs of very wide brown eyes. The two of them seemed frozen, not appearing to be breathing.

"Well, you know I didn't have a great childhood, and well," He (er-she) shrugged nonchalantly, "I suppose you'll need proof so-"

And after a very disturbing display, he(she) left the two girls to their own devices, with an embarrassed blush on his cheeks.

Kagome sat down on a rock. Hard.

_Oh my...I can't believe it...I can't...My first kiss was with a girl? What will mama say? What will my friend's think? My two-timing jealous boyfriend is really a...GIRLFRIEND? He...er..SHE must had had SOME childhood..._

Kikyo, interestingly enough, was in a similar state of shock.

_He's a...he's a...this is so untraditional...this is so...so...oh...my...I kissed a GIRL? I came back from the dead for a GIRL? I wanted to go to Hell with a...GIRL? Inuyasha betrayed me! Again! He...er... SHE IS SO DEAD! She will DIE! Now, where did I put my arrow..._

A/N: Okay, Okay, before I get any flames…. I do not think Inuyasha is, or should be, a girl. This entered my head when a guy came up to me and asked me, "Hey, are you sure Inuyasha isn't a girl?" I, of course, stared at him blankly and said, "Um, yes, I'm pretty sure he isn't a girl. It would be pretty weird if he was…." And thus, my idea was born. I thought Kikyo's reaction would be especially funny. I hope I at least amused some of you.


	2. Kouga's Mistake

Kouga's Mistake

By

Moonlit Showers

It all started with an innocent side trip to see Kagome. Oh sure, the wolf demon had seen her a couple days ago, wearing traditional priestess robes because of some unforeseen circumstances and the fact that her regular school uniform was beyond repair, but he could never get enough of the adorable girl. Interestingly enough, Inuyasha had been particularly subdued because of it. Due to this slight change in character, Kouga believed it would be the perfect opportunity to have some time with "his woman." Without a second thought, he was following the priestess's wonderful scent.

His trail brought him to a clearing, with none other than his beautiful chosen, standing in the very center of it, still adorned in priestess robes. Unthinkingly, he rushed toward her and clasped her hands in his, the way a lover would.

"Kagome!" he shouted adoringly and looked deep into her shocked brown eyes, "I have found you at last! I was so lonely without your lovely smile to light up my day! Won't you come with me and be rid of that annoying mutt-face for good?"

The girl stared at him as though he'd lost his mind as he continued on obliviously, "Kagome, I love you. And I wish you would accept my offer to make you my woman forever! You can finally be free of dog-breath!" he paused in his declarations, "By the way, where is the mutt anyway? He usually says something about now-"

He was cut off as a shout came through the trees and in burst Inuyasha himself, claws drawn and looking downright homicidal.

"_Kouga!_" He yelled angrily, "What the _he_ are you doing with Kikyo?"

Kouga abruptly pulled the speechless girl closer to his chest, "Heh, dog-breath, are you so dull you forgot Kagome's name already?"

"She is _not Kagome_ you _idiot_!" Inuyasha barked back, "And _stay away from her_!"

"Heh," Kouga smirked as he pushed the priestess away from his chest to battle with Inuyasha, "You're going to have to fight me to get to Kagome!"

"She's _not Kagome_!" Inuyasha yelled as he charged into the fight.

Meanwhile, Kagome (the real Kagome) appeared out of the trees in a similar priestess robe and came to stand next to the still shell-shocked Kikyo. Inuyasha had taken off without any warning and when she sensed Kouga's jewel shards, she decided to follow him. She saw the two of them going at it, sighed, and chanced a glance at Kikyo.

"Kouga thought you were me, huh?" Kagome asked calmly, as if this was normal.

Kikyo looked over at her reincarnation, "Yes, he also told me he loves me and proceed to tell me how I should go away with him and become 'his woman.'"

Kagome nodded her head, "Yup, that sounds like Kouga," she grimaced as fists connected and a shout of "_Kagome wasn't enough for you, so you go after Kikyo?_" was heard from Inuyasha.

"This happens often?" Kikyo inquired curiously.

"All the time," Kagome replied with a deadpan look at the battle before them.

There was a pause and then Kagome sighed, "_Boys_."

"Indeed." Kikyo agreed stoically.

A/N: Yes, I have decided to make a collection of one-shots. I just thought this scenario would be funny because Kouga and Kikyo never really meet, do they? LOL! Keep in mind some of these stories might not be plausible, but I will try to keep everyone as in character as possible. And don't forget to review!


	3. Paint

Paint

By

Moonlit Showers

Night had fallen on Feudal Japan, and as usual, Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kirara were all camped out in the forest, setting up for dinner. A cozy campfire was blazing, just waiting for a cup of ramen to be placed upon it. Inuyasha, impatient as always, had taken it upon himself to "help" by digging through Kagome's enormous yellow backpack.

"Hey Kagome!" he called as he threw random things out of the bag in his search, "Where'd you put the ramen?"

"Inuyasha, can't you be patient for once?" Kagome yelled upon seeing Inuyasha's growing mess.

"You're too slow! I'm hungry now!" he retorted, continuing to toss out important items, "Why do you have all this stuff anyway?"

Kagome shrugged, "You can never be too prepared."

"Feh." Inuyasha answered predictably, concentrating on his task. He finally paused and held up a bottle of red paint.

"Hey Kagome! What is this?" He questioned curiously.

Shippo happened to look over then, and watched as Inuyasha took off the cap to one of his precious art supplies.

"Hey!" he called, hopping over and taking a hold on it, "That's mine!"

Inuyasha kept his grip as he replied, "Yeah right runt! Besides, I just want to see it."

"You'll waste it!" Shippo shouted, trying to tug the paint toward him.

"I will not!" Inuyasha retorted, pulling the pulling the paint his way and causing it to slosh dangerously.

"Yes you will!"

"Will not!"

"Will!"

"Not!"

"**Will**!"

"**NOT**!" Inuyasha nearly screamed, giving the paint one last hard yank and causing Shippo to lose his grip. The added strength and slippery claws caused Inuyasha's hold to be lost as well and the group watched as the can sailed high above the trees.

There was silence until Shippo wailed, "You lost it!"

"Shut up! I-" Inuyasha cut himself off as he sniffed the air.

"Get behind me," he commanded, "I smell Sesshoumaru."

His comrades quickly gathered their weapons and waited in a tense silence, wondering why the powerful dog demon had come upon them. They didn't have to wait long. Sesshoumaru soon emerged through the trees, silently and stoic as always, complete with his customary expressionless face staring at them. He was cold, majestic, regal…

…And covered in red paint.

He help up a now empty paint can and casually tossed it at them.

"I believe this is yours," he said coldly, and they watched as he disappeared into the trees once more.

Six pairs of wide eyes exchanged glances, too stunned to say much of anything.

Finally, Kagome broke the silence, "To answer your question, Inuyasha, that was permanent red paint. His hair's going to be a nice shade of red until he cuts it and it grows back."

Inuyasha gave a fanged smirk, "Hey Shippo, we should fight more often."

The group finally burst out laughing.

A/N: Well, did you like it? I love messing with the stoic characters. Don't forget to leave a review to tell me how you liked it! Pretty please?


	4. Who's Going To Hell?

Disclaimer: I own Inuyasha? Really? Oh wow, I can't believe it! I can finally make Inuyasha and Kagome…. Wait, what do you mean you were lying?!

Who's Going To Hell?

By

Moonlit Showers

Kikyo stared blankly at the spectacle before her. It was so absurd that if she had been any other person, she would have burst out laughing. Instead, she was stunned into speechlessness.

It was shaping up to be such a good day, too. As Naraku was no longer among the living, Kikyo had returned to Keade's village in order to collect on Inuyasha's promise to her. The jewel was purified in the final battle, so there was nothing left to keep her bound to this world. Everything was perfect. Unfortunately, she failed to take into account Murphy's Law.

Kikyo almost rolled her eyes (before she realized how out of character that would be), as she contemplated the situation before her. Although Inuyasha was promised to her, another promise had been revealed, one that was made without her knowledge.

"I promised I would always stay with you, Inuyasha!" Kagome cried at the half demon across from her.

"I will not allow you to follow me to **Hell**, Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted back with equal fervor.

As the couple continued to bicker back and forth, Kikyo had a sudden urge to put her head in her hands. Why was fate so cruel? First, she was saddled with the cursed jewel, drawing all kinds of monsters after her and her sister. Then, when she finally finds a bit of happiness, Naraku rips it away from her in a dramatic betrayal. Not to mention the whole walking dead occupation she currently held. All she wanted was to take her only love with her to Hell for all eternity. Was that really too much to ask for?

Feeling a massive headache coming on, Kikyo tried to intervene, "Inuyasha, I-"

"You stay out of this!" Inuyasha and Kagome shouted in unison at the stunned Kikyo, before quickly turning back to their fight.

Kikyo's eyes were frozen in a comical wide-eyed, gaping stare. It was as if they had forgotten she was even there. After all that she had been through, after all she had sacrificed, Inuyasha still- And she was going to spend _eternity_ with him?!

She clenched her hands into fists as her never ending patience finally snapped.

"I've **had it!**" she yelled uncharacteristically.

A flock of birds flew from a nearby tree, desperately trying to escape the wrath of the undead priestess. Both Inuyasha and Kagome were silenced in utter shock as Kikyo continued ranting.

"I don't **care** anymore! If this is what it's going to be like for an eternity in Hell, then I don't want any **part** of it! All I was is some **peace!**"

Taking a rasping breath in the dead silence that fell over the clearing, Kikyo lowered her voice for a last parting statement.

"I release you from your promise, Inuyasha. You two deserve each other."

The couple watched on in near horror as Kikyo finally collapsed in a pile of dust. Birds chirped in the distance.

After the shock wore off (many minutes later), Inuyasha turned on Kagome.

"If you hadn't-"

"**Me?!**" Kagome shouted in outrage.

Far off in the depths of the underworld, Kikyo breathed a sigh of relief.

A/N: I told you I love messing with the stoic characters. I've always wondered what would happen if Kagome tried to keep her promise to Inuyasha to "stay" with him, if he went to Hell. Please don't forget to review and tell me how you liked it!


	5. Kagome's Adventures in Art

Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha… well, let's just say things would be different… (evil laughter)

Kagome's Adventures in Art

By Moonlit Showers

Kagome was frustrated.

At around noon, Inuyasha finally allowed everyone to take a break for lunch. While the others sat around the fire and enjoyed the food, Kagome had left for a nearby stream (Still within eyeshot of Inuyasha of course). Not to grab a drink or sooth her weary feet like normal, no, she needed the water for her latest homework assignment.

In an effort to salvage her GPA, she decided to take an art class, as attendance wasn't required, hoping the assignments were ones she could easily do anywhere (more specifically in Feudal Japan). Unfortunately, her first assignment involved drawing a self-portrait, which wouldn't be a problem in the modern-era, with its abundance of mirrors, but was a problem when a certain half-demon dragged her back to an era where mirrors weren't exactly commonplace.

At first she figured she could just use her compact mirror to see herself, but it backfired when she realized it was too small to cover her entire head, plus trying to hold it and draw cross-legged at the same time proved more difficult then she thought it would be.

Her next plan was to find some water, which brings us to the stream. Unfortunately, she forgot to factor in the fact it was a _running _stream_,_ causing the image to be distorted and not at all at the quality she needed it to be.

Gazing at the crumbled up balls of her many failed attempts, Kagome was just about ready to give into a few defeated tears, when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

Two pale soul collectors were gliding above the trees toward their camp.

Kagome's depression grew.

"This is just great," she mumbled to herself, "If failing art isn't bad enough, now Kikyo shows up. Why can't this day just end now?"

She sighed heavily as she watched Inuyasha take off toward his past love. Typical Inuyasha behavior. She really should be used to this by now. Whenever Kikyo showed up it was always the same; he would rush off to meet her, Kagome would wait sadly for his return, and when he did return she'd be angry with him for a couple days before it passed and everything would be back to normal. Except she would still hold this stupid unrequited love toward an adorable, puppy-eared jerk of a half-demon. Why must her feelings be this way? Why was she so similar to Kikyo that-

Kagome blinked in realization. Why hadn't she thought of this before? It was so simple, so perfect, it was almost like fate. With renewed determination and a silly grin on her face, Kagome gathered her supplies and took off after Inuyasha.

In the clearing, Inuyasha and Kikyo were in the midst of a conversation of the usual topics- How are you? Any news of Naraku?

"-been informed that Naraku will be-" Kikyo cut herself off as Kagome came crashing through the trees, smiling a bit insanely. She always knew her reincarnation was a bit odd, but she had never acted this strange before. What was going on?

Inuyasha seemed just as surprised and perhaps a little guilty to see Kagome interrupt his tryst, but Kagome took no heed as she quickly situated herself on a nearby rock and arranged her supplies to her liking.

"Don't mind me, just pretend I'm not here," she announced brightly. Without further explanation, she was soon completely engaged in her work, occasionally glancing up, and then quickly going back to her project. Inuyasha and Kikyo gaped at her.

"Ka-Kagome what?" Inuyasha stuttered, at a loss to this weird behavior she was currently displaying.

Kagome paused to look up at Inuyasha and glare at him.

"This is all your fault you know."

Inuyasha's eyes widened as he floundered for a response.

"Wha- I'm- You-"

Kagome cut him off, "If you hadn't dragged me back here I could have used a decent mirror, but no, we had to come back _right away!_" she nearly shouted, "So I have to make due with what's available. You know I have to finish my schoolwork, so just be quiet and let me. Oh, Kikyo," she blushed a bit, "I'm sorry, it was terribly rude of me not to ask, but would you mind letting me draw a portrait of you?"

Kikyo could only manage a confused nod.

"Thank you," Kagome chirped, and without another word, she went back to her drawing, leaving Inuyasha temporarily incapable of speech.

By the time the group was back on the road, Kagome was so happy she was practically skipping, as her portrait was finished, and Inuyasha had received the news of Naraku he wanted from Kikyo, who relayed it calmly enough after Kagome explained. She even gave a compliment to Kagome's finished product! Albeit in Kikyo's usual stoic charm. By the end of the day, Inuyasha had come to an important realization.

He would never understand women.

A/N: I dunno why I love messing with Kikyo, but her, Kagome, and Inuyasha's personalities are so different I just couldn't resist. Be sure to leave a review to tell me what you think. They make me happy and more inclined to write more. (wink) (wink) (nudge) (nudge)


	6. Turnabout

Disclaimer: Do I own Inuyasha? Must you even ask?

Turnabout

By

Moonlit Showers

Sango was not having a good day.

The group was once again in Kaede's village, as Kagome had to take another one of her "tests" again and had gone through the well yesterday afternoon. This meant that a certain half-demon's mood was slowly becoming blacker and would soon not be fit for human or demon company (unless they wanted to die).

If that wasn't enough, as loath as she was to admit it, her abdomen was killing her due to a certain monthly occurrence that inflicted all females at one time or another, and Kagome had taken all her "magic" pills through the well with her, so Sango was left to suffer the old fashion way.

On top of that, she had slept in far too late, which completely threw off her morning training session. She would have gone to take care of it now, but Kaede had caught her and requested that she fetch some water from the stream, so her routine would have to be put off for a little while longer.

She sighed as she trotted down the hill and started to fill the bucket in the stream and hoped the day wouldn't get any worse.

Unfortunately, that thought usually tends to cause bad luck, rather than prevent it.

On the other side of the hill, Miroku was having an exceptionally good day.

Kagome was gone, and although that meant Inuyasha would become unfit for human company, it also meant that he would tend to stay away from Miroku's activities. Plus, Shippo would usually stay close to Inuyasha during this time, watching for the time when Inuyasha would get fed up and go get Kagome himself. All this combined to give Miroku the perfect opportunity for some much needed alone time with his favorite demon slayer.

Cresting the hill, he spotted her filling a bucket from the stream. He paused for a moment as he gazed at her. Such a strong woman, both in body and heart, able to go into battle against the fiercest of demons without fear and to shoulder the heaviest of burdens. He appreciated everything about her, from the timid way she'd blush at a compliment, to the aggressive slap on the face she'd dish out whenever he "accidentally" felt her up. Maybe it was masochist of him, but it was worth the pain just to feel those curves between his fingers. It was becoming almost a routine for them; it was comfortable and reassuring. And it always happened in the same way.

Smiling almost blissfully, Miroku nearly glided down the hill, hopeful for another dangerous yet wonderful encounter.

Sango glanced up in dread as she heard the telltale jingling of Miroku's staff as he made his way down the hill. She knew what was going to happen; it was always the same. They'd have a conversation, and just when she believed he was going to be decent for once, he'd feel her up and thus end up with her hand against his cheek.

She almost wanted to scream. She didn't want him to be here, didn't want to go through the timeless dance. Her day was bad enough as it was and _damn it_, she was in pain.

Her eyes narrowed slightly as Miroku approached her, although he seemed to be oblivious to it as he smiled kindly at her. His seemingly innocence didn't fool her at all.

Too focused on his ultimate goal to notice the deadly expression on Sango's face, he said blandly, "Hello Sango, how are you this fine morning?"

Sango set the bucket off to the side and regarded him warily, "Kaede requested I bring some water back for her. I regret that I slept too long, so I'm a bit behind with my regular training. I intend to remedy it as soon as I return with the water."

"Ah Sango," Miroku said breezily, edging closer to her, "Always the warrior. It doesn't hurt to relax every once in a while. Enjoy the break our lovely companion is granting us."

Sango smiled slightly, "Kagome always makes sure he doesn't drive us to the brink of exhaustion."

Nodding in agreement, Miroku sighed, "Alas, he sometimes forgets that we're mere humans who cannot possibly match his half-demon strength."

"Oh, I think we keep up pretty well," Sango comment lightly.

"Indeed," Miroku murmured, concentrating on something else entirely. He was just in reach now, all he had to do was-

Sango stiffened as she, for probably the millionth time, felt his hands caress her rear. Why did he have to do that every time? She was tired of it. Tired of the routine and tired of him never learning from his mistakes. She wanted to do something so unexpected that he would never think to disrespect her in this matter again. Not thinking, just acting, she shot her arm toward him.

Miroku was in heaven, knowing he only had seconds to enjoy this before he was knocked unconscious and concentrating solely on his task. Thus, completely failing to notice that his perceived events were not going quiet as planned.

His eyes widened comically as he let out an undignified and unmanly shriek as a soft hand roughly grabbed his rear end. Confused at the unexpected sensation, he quickly leaped away and stared at a blushing, but furious Sango.

She couldn't believe she had done that. Couldn't believe that she had _groped_ Miroku like that! She was turning into him, wasn't she? Oh boy, best to save that line of thought for later, she was still angry with him after all.

"Monk! What have I told you about doing that! Maybe now you'll finally understand how it feels!"

Watching as Sango angrily grabbed her bucket and turned away, he started to think that although it was unexpected, he definitely wasn't adverse to this new reaction.

He smiled as he watch her hips sway as she walked. Nope, not at all.

As Sango stomped up the hill, she couldn't help but think that rather than Miroku starting to understand her better, she was starting to understand _him_ better. She shuddered slightly. Maybe she should go to bed and end this day right now, before it got any worse.

A/N: I have no idea if this idea has been done before as I don't read a lot of San/Mir fics, but I just had to write this little scenario in my head. I hope you enjoyed it and please don't forget to leave a review. :)


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